drunk girl

tonight I am three beers, one tequila bottle, and a cup of lean away from my own head

tonight the boy does not exist

It is not about how drunk I am

it is about how much I’m willing to let go

Every shot I take is more like “I missed graduation but I won’t let this sadness take anything else”

This burning sensation is a reminder I am alive, for the first time I am alive

So I wrap myself around boy, a boy who looks nothing my ex lover, tonight I do not look for the brown eyed boy

I am the loud drunk girl

I am not sorry

i am the drunk girl crying at the party

I am not sorry

this is not a cry for help

I am not numbing this body

I am not turning into my father

For the very first time I am letting the world see me, even the bad parts, the parts I refuse to let anyone sober see.

Tomorrow I will go back to the shell of a person I am, hiding in the caves of anxiety, but tonight I am the drunk girl.

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