Fathers and apologies

apologies are so difficult.

take my dad for instance, he’s been sober for almost a two years now.

He was an alcoholic basically my entire life. In AA and therapy they told him that apologies are optional. The person they left behind, the addict, is not who they are anymore and they don’t have to carry the baggage of all the hurt they caused. But I do. Sometimes you just want to hear, “hey, I’m so sorry I was too drunk to be a father when you needed one.”

sometimes you don’t want to give them another chance, after all you gave them a second, third, fourth, fifth, etc..but you’re suppose to. Cause you love them regardless of all the sleepless nights, broken bottles, and flying fists. Cause they don’t have to apologize but you’re suppose to forgive them.

some nights you just want him to say “hey, I’m sorry your childhood wasn’t Santa clause and Peter Pan but watching me destroy everything I touched.”

Instead we all have to apologize to him, I’m sorry you have a harder time at family functions & holidays. I’m sorry ads can be triggering, I’m sorry you still haven’t earned all my trust.

Isn’t that funny, I’m still the one saying sorry.

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